This afternoon I attended a
funeral—my second in a week. It seems that I’m attending funerals much more
frequently these days. I would attribute that to my age, but a much younger
friend confided that she, too, has lately attended what seems an unfair number
of funerals. So maybe this isn’t just an age-related phenomenon. Maybe it also
can be tied to the number of friends and relatives with whom we have been
blessed.
Whatever the reasons behind this
frequency of funerals, I’ve made a surprising discovery about these most solemn
of services: Namely, they aren’t really that solemn anymore. They are true
celebrations of life. The few funerals I attended as a child followed a
clear-cut format: sad songs, prayers, a sermon with some scriptures about life eternal
and a heavenly home, a farewell to the deceased with a promise we would one day
be re-united. I’m sure all of that brought comfort to the grieving family and
should still be a part of every service. But at more recent funerals, I’ve
noticed another element has been added—an opportunity to know the deceased in a
way few of us were able to while he or she was alive. Whether it’s through a
video, a display of family pictures, testimonies of friends, or the opportunity
to chat with family, I have learned so much more about the departed. And I’ve
learned about the “extraordinary-ness” of those who lived what I previously
considered ordinary lives. I’ve learned about dedicated teachers who touched
students’ lives in ways few people realized while they were living. I’ve
learned of men who served selflessly in the military both during times of war
and peace. I’ve learned of individuals who struggled through difficult
childhoods to become devoted parents who valued family. And I’ve
laughed. Yes, I’ve shed tears of laughter as friends and family recounted those
funny acts, accidents, and antics that make the departed all the more endearing
to us. I’ve left services such as this saddened yet uplifted, determined to
appreciate life and people more.
This post is not in any way meant to
trivialize the sense of loss that accompanies a loved one’s death. Grief is
painful, eased only by time and faith, and never completely erased. But perhaps
the hurting can be alleviated in some small way by the realization that even in
death those dear to us still provide hope and inspiration for the living.
I like what you said about being blessed.
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