Wishing You a Slippery Slope Kind of Christmas

When I saw a cute little amigurumi mouse on Facebook, it immediately brought to mind one of my favorite children's books series If You Give a Mouse... by Laura Numeroff. 

These charming stories perfectly illustrate the "slippery slope" theory--you know, how one seemingly harmless act can quickly get out of hand. I'm afraid, this is exactly what is happening to my crocheting. So taking inspiration from the series, I composed my own little slippery slope story.

 

If you give a mouse a crochet hook,

  

he’s going to want some yarn.

When you give him red yard,

 he’ll also ask for green ...

 to make himself a Christmas outfit.

If it doesn’t snow, he’ll want some white yarn

to make a snowman. 

Then he’ll ask for sparkly white yarn, 

 because all magical unicorns are sparkly,

And, of course, he’ll need brown 

to make a wise old owl.

Then he’ll need white again

to make a cat, who’s grumpy because
she has no place to relax.

So he’ll need a tiny bit of tan

 to make a box.
(But the cat will still be grumpy.)

Then he’ll want some gray yarn

  to make a little mouse...
and some more red for a stocking
for his new companion to snuggle in.

He’ll need LOTS of lime green yarn

to make a grinch—a nice one who’d never even
think of stealing Christmas, and

finally,

he’ll ask for assorted colors of yarn

to decorate his Christmas tree,
where all his new friends can gather  
 

when he throws his Christmas Party!

WISHING YOU A "SLIPPERY SLOPE" CHRISTMAS WHERE 

THE MERRIMENT GETS TOTALLY OUT OF HAND!

'tis the Season

At ten till nine on the first morning of November, I was making my daily sojourn to the gym on one of the busiest streets in Edmond. It was a routine drive I’ve made for a number of years. I was driving the speed limit, minding my business when—BAM! A deer’s belly appeared in my windshield and just as quickly disappeared, leaving my windshield smashed to smithereens. 

I pulled my car to the curb, not all that shook up, as there had been no time to become alarmed. The event was over. The deer had vanished into a small thicket of trees beside the road, and I was unharmed. My greatest concern was that another motorist would plow into the back of my parked car because the emergency blinker no longer worked. Thankfully, a thoughtful driver soon stopped and stayed behind me with his truck’s blinker on until a policeman arrived. The driver also did a quick search into the trees, but the deer was nowhere to be found.

 

This is the only view I got of the deer. And it was there and gone in a flash!

As it turned out, my little Prius was no match for a deer. The windshield  was busted, the roof  above it dented, the side posts bent. There was also minor damage to a front light and the back of the roof. The motor was still in good condition, but the interior electrical system was kaput. The car I’d planned on driving for at least three more years was totaled. 

A Prius is no match for a deer.

 

 Back home, I sent a photo of my poor Prius to friend Nancy, who forwarded it to her son. His response was that the month of November has the highest number of car/deer incidents… because of the rut season. 

A quick google search informed me that rut season, which runs from approximately late October to mid-December, is when male deer go crazy. In their desperation to find a female and ensure the continuation of their species, they completely lose control of their mental faculties, doing things like jumping in front of cars on busy suburban streets. (I’m exercising extreme control here in not commenting on the males of another species.) To this deer’s credit, he’d--I’m sure it was a “he”-- timed his encounter with my car at the precisely correct time of year.

All is well now. The insurance check came, and with minimum amount of hassle, I’m driving  a new Honda CR-V, which I’m very much enjoying. The incident even inspired a little creativity in me. Borrowing the tune from a Christmas song I used to enjoy but now find slightly irritating, I’ve written a little rut season song. As far as I know, this has never been done before. I think it makes a nice segue from one season to another. Feel free to sing along.

(To be sung to the tune of “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer." Also, I'm assuming the deer was a whitetail because that's what is most prevalent in these parts.)

Grandma’s Prius got run over by a whitetail, 

headed to the gym November first.

The whitetail disappeared into the woodland,

but if the car is any sign, that impact hurt!

(This is the slow part.)

Now the Prius is in the junkyard,

pulled there by a towing truck.

No one got a good look at the whitetail,

but we’re sure it had to be a love-starved buck.

HAVE A SAFE RUT SEASON!