I’ve finally convinced my accountant husband (Did you catch that—accountant?) that our twenty-seven-year-old master bath needs a make-over. I’ve been collecting ideas for this event for the past ten years, so I have a pretty good idea of what I want. But just to be sure I wasn’t overlooking any new innovations, I researched some bathroom ideas online. My mind is reeling.
I’m still adjusting to the idea that
every home needs a theater room, and now I learn I need a bathroom with a couch,
a 72” flatscreen, and a shower with piped-in music and room for twenty people. I try to be modern and open-minded, but really.
At what point did the bathroom replace the family or living room as the
entertainment center for the home? When I’m bathing, the last thing I want is
someone sitting on a couch, chatting with me while I scrub my...face. Or a
crowd joining me in the shower as we sway to the salsa music and sip our
margaritas. And am I to stay in the tub until I’m shivering and shriveled in
order to watch an entire football game? Okay, half the game. I guess I can
always towel off during half-time. And
where is the toilet? I can’t imagine anyone desiring nearby company while using
that particular fixture.
Call me squeamish, prudish, even uptight.
I mean it. Call me those things. I don’t go into the sauna at the gym if I see
a “nekked” woman in there. I just clutch my bath sheet a little tighter and
wait until she vacates. This overdone modesty is most likely unhealthy and
probably stems from my conservative upbringing. Or maybe from a poor body image
inflicted on me during adolescence. But whatever the source of my damaged
psyche, it’s there and I deal with it in my own way. Quite frankly, at this
point in my life, it’s a lot easier and cheaper to avoid nekked sauna people—or
entertaining in the bathroom—than it is to seek therapy.
So back to the re-do. I have four
requirements for the new bath: 1) no wallpaper 2) updated fixtures 3) plenty of
storage 4) easy maintenance. Of course, I want it to be pretty and functional,
but one of the functions doesn’t need to be housing a party. Call me a party
pooper—no pun intended—but I’m keeping the toilet and tub in the bathroom and
the margarita machine in the kitchen.
Dee Dee You are hilarious! I applaud your prudish spirit! I will wait my turn to visit your bathroom, thank you- looking forward to it!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lisa, for your encouraging words. Thank you, Dr. Marotta, for not insisting I need therapy.
DeleteSome people may think you took that picture just for this blog. I, however, suspect it may have been in your photo albums. Thank you for the visual on the proper way to accessorize in the shower. Your blog continues to be helpful!
ReplyDeleteNo, Brandi, as much as I love to dress up and accessorize,I've never done it to take a shower. (You should've seen Bill's face when I asked him to take this picture.)But I'm glad I could be of some help!:-)
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